The Adventures of Stew and B-Bone

Let me introduce you to a couple of crazy guys I met named Stew and B-Bone. We'll leave the circumstances around their being here a mystery for now, but suffice to say that they've moved in with me, and they've promised me a pretty eventful summer.

The Bachelor Party (06/23/2013)

Yay! One of Stew's and B-bone's friend's was tricked into permanent bondage! And to celebrate, they decided to rock out with the paintball guns.

You may not know this, but paintball is an enormously strategic game. And no one commands strategy better than Evan. Take for example this classic use of the b-bone-as-a-human-shield technique:

While that round went as expected, things got real soon enough. Very real and very intense. Fed up with his inability to pierce the human shield and take out the 3 year old boy, Stew decided to get clever. He found an ideal sniping perch, and once inside, prepared himself to deal some massage damage from afar.

B-bone, however, used well the time he spent with the zen-master Evan, absorbing all that is strategy. He wasn't to be so easily taken down. And so, he quickly and quietly found some cover.

From this new vantage point, and with the help of a 69x zoom scope, Stew wasn't quite as well hidden has he thought he was.

Consequently, both were seen by the other simultaniously. Shots were fired. Wounds were inflicted.

And even though we'll never know who won, the important thing is that they learned that it's... not about the size of your barrel... or the calibur of your gun... but about the bond that is formed between fellow man in this act of hurling projectiles at friends using compressed-CO2 with every intent of creating loving bruises that will last for - not days - but a lifetime.

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